Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
