sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
