I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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