is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it's great music for shaving your balls
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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