I got chris browned last night
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
