I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
