so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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