i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
