It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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