singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
