ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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