He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
