Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
