so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
