butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do vagina's smell?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
