There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
