weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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