I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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