This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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