I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The air was thick with penises
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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