Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
