i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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