Are we in a gay sports bar?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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