How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
