quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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