She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
