I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
