hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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