it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize