Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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