tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
