Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
