As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
