Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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