someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
