so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
