You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize