"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
