I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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