If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
