ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
3 2 1 whiskey
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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