Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
