i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i think i just lost a toe
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