it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
