If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm passing your future prison.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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