I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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