Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I believe in your delicious
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
