Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
