Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
