She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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