make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
