please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
