Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
