I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
