How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
