Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
