All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
