So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
