Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
