And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
