that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
