you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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