Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
