this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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