There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
