My nipple is on Facebook.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
it glows. i had to have it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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