I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
