okay pat passed out under dana's car
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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