I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
