Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
